Life is full of so many uncertainties. Once you've climbed over a hill and think that the road will be easier ahead, another mountain blocked the view and you don't even see if there is a road. As I was waiting for radiotherapy, the oncologist said with concern that he saw something that needed a CT scan and biopsy. He added that the biopsy may puncture my lung. Thank you for such comforting information but there I was, days later, lying on the bed that rolled me into the scan. Another doctor came in & looked as if he's sorry for what he has to do to me. Causally he said we'll freeze you &
start taking 6 samples. Freezing means jabbing a needle in between my chest bones but there's no time to freak out. Just when I think I'm doomed, I heard an angelic voice from one of the nurses," May I hold your hand?" and held my hand until the freezing was over. Bless her soul --- it makes such a big difference!
The biopsy result is discouraging --- the tumor that the oncologist saw but was too kind to disclose proves to be cancer which means I have to go through more tests before they know what to do about it. At this point, I really don't have much hope for the future. One thing I'm sure, He will hold my hand.
Comments (2)
Denise, you Xanga has been a great encouragement to read for I can see Christ lives in your life daily. Today I can certainly relate to what you are saying, because after working for 15 weeks and 1 days, I got fired during probation. Basically, I thought in order to balance the financial problem, my agency decided to save money and let me go. Life is full of uncertainty... But just because we cannot see both good and bad, we become closer to God for we hope to know He still cares and He is still there. I will pray for you and your family. Let this prayer hold your hand for a while.
Sometimes no expectation is a relief. I don't mean giving up, but just try our best to ignore bad feelings and think of good things, things that can make us happy and be in peace. Nomatter what, you are loved. that's for sure.