So many things have happened between the last tiime I blogged and now.The Lord has truly led me through the valley of Death ( not only the shadows) and has guided me with His staff and rod.
I returned to Hong Kong on Dec.14 for treatment. The doctors at Queen Mary Hosp. failed and I felt miserable. It was tough and I really wanted to give up. My dear Aunty Margaret introduced me to a lady who introduced me to another doctor. This became the turning point --- angels sent by God. The kind doctor came to the hotel to examine me on Dec.26 (a boxing day gift from God) and I was told to go to St. Theresa Hosp.
What happened after one night's stay was too blurry for me. I was transferred to the ICU but before long I already became delirious. I was operated in the afternoon where they put a stent in my chest so that my tumour wouldn't crush my vein anymore. The reason why I fainted was becasuse the tumour stopped the blood from circulating. Yes, I almost died.
I stayed in the ICU for over a week, having to rely on a breathing mask. Those were night-marish times. I was so thankful when I can finally return to a normal hosp. room where I can see sunshine through the windows. Praise God! I have come a long way.
Today, I am staying at Haven of Hope Hosp., a Christian homely place for people to recover (or to spend their last days). I am now off the oxygen machine, eating, sleeping, talking, walking (a bit), and learning to appreciate all the things I used to take for granted. I still have a long way to go in terms of treatment --- radiation, Chinese medicine & yes, more chemo.
I don't know what the future holds for me but I sure know who holds the future and I'm going to live life day by day and be thankful for every breath that I take!

So everyone in my cancer gym class has graduated and I am in detention again. Not only in detention but because they have found out that the previous breast cancer has sneaked back, the verdict is: I have to repeat chemo a second time. This time around they will drive it full blast hoping that the tumors (yes, they delight in partying) will shrink and be under control. Or else, I'll fail the course and get kicked out for good.
Fail? Statistically speaking, those who die are those who fail. Biblically, those who believe are those who have already won, when over 2000 years ago, our Lord Jesus triumphed over death and was risen in 3 days.
"Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come to judgement, but has passed from death to life."John 5:24
No matter what, I will graduate !!!

Life is full of so many uncertainties. Once you've climbed over a hill and think that the road will be easier ahead, another mountain blocked the view and you don't even see if there is a road. As I was waiting for radiotherapy, the oncologist said with concern that he saw something that needed a CT scan and biopsy. He added that the biopsy may puncture my lung. Thank you for such comforting information but there I was, days later, lying on the bed that rolled me into the scan. Another doctor came in & looked as if he's sorry for what he has to do to me. Causally he said we'll freeze you &
start taking 6 samples. Freezing means jabbing a needle in between my chest bones but there's no time to freak out. Just when I think I'm doomed, I heard an angelic voice from one of the nurses," May I hold your hand?" and held my hand until the freezing was over. Bless her soul --- it makes such a big difference!
The biopsy result is discouraging --- the tumor that the oncologist saw but was too kind to disclose proves to be cancer which means I have to go through more tests before they know what to do about it. At this point, I really don't have much hope for the future. One thing I'm sure, He will hold my hand.